Comments on: Our View of Self-Deprecation Is All Wrong. Here’s Why… https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/ A Lifestyle Blog Mon, 31 Jan 2022 23:59:36 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.1 By: Tracie Holladay https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-694235 Wed, 26 Jan 2022 14:01:56 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-694235 In reply to Olivia Penwell.

Glad you brought this up. Some of us had toxic mothers.

]]> By: Diamond https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-694145 Mon, 24 Jan 2022 04:04:26 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-694145 My take as 45F is that it’s not about the female / male interpretations of self-deprecation, it’s about tribes and music. Read on, it’ll eventually make [some sort of] sense…
So I use self-deprecating humour all the time with males / females at work and at home and for the most part, people get me in part cos they can perceive the humour in my voice. Of course, it’s harder using written form cos the subtleties of tone can be lost however this is the first post of yours I’ve ever read and I don’t know anything about you, yet I instantly laughed at your ‘pile of garbage’ comment. I did a quick survey and my 44M partner, 40F and 35M siblings all got it too. So I’d suggest there could be more to it than just gender, I think it’s about which tribe/s we belong to and the language of those tribes.
For me, communication (especially humour) is akin to music genres and the tribes that form around song – we all like and relate to certain styles and artists and, for the most part, we gravitate to a tribe that we can relate to. For me, self-deprecating humour is to my favourite genre, indie rock, as proselytizing is to country. I’m the old hag in the mosh pit at the Arctic Monkeys gig who should’ve left her distressed daisy dukes and Ramones singlet in the decade they belonged to. I’m definitely not like your holier than thou “you are not a pile of garbage” woman who (in my mind) is listening to Kenny Rogers on her way to church as she decided you needed to be told by her how you should feel (note: that is not a dig at religion, I’m just expressing my personal taste). I’ll never like country and she’ll never understand self-deprecating humour, and that’s ok, we just belong to different tribes.
You’ll have to excuse me now as I step off the pulpit sorry that should read off the stage… I must get back re-living my mis-spent youth cos I can’t deal with being so old
(Fade To Grey, we see our protagonist turn the stereo volume to 11 and press play, the opening chords of Where Is My Mind hauntingly mirror her despondent look of despair as she sinks further into the abyss of sagging skin, failing eyesight and her own version of doomscrolling, filling out online forms and having to scroll, and scroll, and scroll, and scroll, to find her year of birth…)

]]> By: Brittany Chaffee https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-693876 Thu, 06 Jan 2022 18:57:50 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-693876 Thank you!

]]> By: Brittany Chaffee https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-693830 Mon, 03 Jan 2022 15:13:39 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-693830 In reply to Emily.

Emily,
This makes me so happy! That’s exactly it – I think women are easily mistaken for having low self-esteem instead of the ladder, simply being comfortable enough to joke around lightly. Human flaws are real and actually hilarious, so I hope things get lighter for your friendships looking at life that way 🙂 Thank you for reading!
~Brittany

]]> By: Brittany Chaffee https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-693829 Mon, 03 Jan 2022 15:11:09 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-693829 In reply to Katie.

Hi, Katie! I’m so happy to read this! Here’s to people understanding self-deprecation better when it comes from a woman. And to making a joke every once and a while 😉

]]> By: Emily https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-693792 Thu, 30 Dec 2021 17:27:03 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-693792 This gives me a deep sense of comfort, thanks for writing about it! Some of the most painful moments in friendship for me have been when friends mistook my light-hearted self-deprecation for actual low self esteem. Now I recognize that someone this humorless and uncomfortable with looking directly at our human flaws is probably not a good friend match for me!

]]> By: Olivia Penwell https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-693787 Thu, 30 Dec 2021 12:23:01 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-693787 I think the article is great and of high value. The thing I want to comment on is your bio. At the end you say, “go hug your Mother.” What is that’s a dangerous thing to do. What if your Mother is utterly crazy and the last thing on earth you should do is hug her. I think you need to notice what that message says to the larger world. When you say that you point out to those of us with deeply mentally ill Mothers how we don’t fit into society. It’s painful.

]]> By: Katie https://witanddelight.com/2021/12/our-view-of-self-deprecation-is-all-wrong-heres-why/#comment-693780 Wed, 29 Dec 2021 20:33:07 +0000 https://witanddelight.com/?p=95194#comment-693780 You just reaffirmed me. Thank you. I feel like people think I present like a male with my humor, and it bothers them…and that bothers me.

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