Comments on: No, I Don’t Have My Sh*t Together (And That’s Okay)

By: Stigma, Suicide, & Our Stereotypes Around Mental Health - Wit & Delight

Stigma, Suicide, & Our Stereotypes Around Mental Health - Wit & Delight — Mon, 25 Jun 2018 15:14:39 +0000

[…] the struggles of mental health. I loved this Twitter thread about reasons to live. In fact, Kate’s own model of witnessing to these realities (and now the crew of contributors who follow her lead)—instead […]

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 14 Sep 2015 02:12:58 +0000

Ok, I felt like this ALL last week! I kept thinking, what is my problem? Why can’t I get it together? But then as I started thinking about it, between all my mistakes and general scatterbrained-ness, I had little moments of success where things were going right. And now that I read your post, I realize that it’s all of these little things, good and bad, that make me human. So thank you for sharing!

By: The Week’s End // A Round-up of All Sorts of Interesting Stuff | ZEN AND Π

Sun, 13 Sep 2015 16:02:21 +0000

[…] …Or Maybe, I Don’t. // Wit and Delight […]

By: When Your Shit Isn't So Together | The Art of Moseying

When Your Shit Isn't So Together | The Art of Moseying — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 12:02:25 +0000

[…] and Delight. The author, Kate Arends, is fresh and honest. I recently read a post of hers titled, Or Maybe , I Don’t, and it was like someone opened a window and a breath of fresh air swept across my tired soul. In […]

By: But We Will Stay

But We Will Stay — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 23:40:37 +0000

[…] I need to learn to let myself off the hook every once in a while. /// I just wanna get my shit together… or maybe, I don’t. […]

By: Currently Obsessed With: August 2015 | wingedcreature reads

Currently Obsessed With: August 2015 | wingedcreature reads — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 14:03:05 +0000

[…] This post about getting your shit together is something I can relate to. A lot. […]

By: Lauren

Lauren — Sat, 29 Aug 2015 16:43:41 +0000

This seriously sounds like my life. It’s what I beat myself up for the most. Also, I love the way your comments are styled and how the comment box matches. How cool.

By: LFB (Love from Berlin) - a lifestyle blog focused on photography, fashion, food, conscious living & travel

Thu, 27 Aug 2015 09:34:04 +0000

[…] is pretty common but this couple has taken it to an entirely new level 002: It’s all about Cutting yourself some slack 003: My future arboreal abode 004: Who says sleepovers are just for kids? 005:How would you feel if […]

By: Ashlynn

Ashlynn — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 17:19:55 +0000

Thanks for sharing- I so relate. I recently embraced a new mantra “Progress not Perfection” and it has helped me immensely. I never thought I had ADHD until I started reading about it 6 months ago. Just thought I was a flaky creative type – who self-shamed constantly for not being more responsible, always feeling overwhelmed, battling anxiety/depression, yada yada . Then I read about it and was like OH! THAT’s what it is! LOL! I just try and take it day by day (moment by moment when necessary) and embrace my funky self. There is only one me exactly like me in the entire Universe, so I am trying to love all of unique me b/c how cool is that?!?! Xoxo

By: Tuesday Things. | How Sweet It Is

Tuesday Things. | How Sweet It Is — Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:55:42 +0000

[…] 8. This is so my brain right now. mom+work+lifebrain […]

By: Love Links | in backyards

Love Links | in backyards — Sun, 23 Aug 2015 22:50:06 +0000

[…] twenty-six, and I am tired of having my shit together. Let’s relax a […]

By: Weekly Therapy: …but maybe we should. | 30-Something Therapy

Weekly Therapy: …but maybe we should. | 30-Something Therapy — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 19:01:12 +0000

[…] #anxiety 5. I feel like I was reading something that my daily internal monologue posted with this: …Or Maybe, I Don’t. {via Wit & Delight} 6. The psychological obstacles holding you back at work {via The Book of […]

By: Philiss

Philiss — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 10:10:20 +0000

Thanks for writing this! After reading I can completely relate! Love your writing!

By: I Love Lists Friday! - Shutterbean

I Love Lists Friday! - Shutterbean — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 08:02:36 +0000

[…] This post hits so close to home for me right now. […]

By: ON FAILURE

ON FAILURE — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 16:41:57 +0000

[…] you’re like me and needing a big virtual hug today, may I suggest this post and the always-wise Oprah? I promise you they’re both worth the read and the […]

By: Mun

Mun — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 11:55:57 +0000

I love this. Thanks for sharing that vulnerable side of you. That is so valuable to many people, myself included 🙂

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 15:20:56 +0000

Well, this post almost brought me to tears. I 100 percent feel where you’re coming from and think it’s wonderful that you’ve found someone who appreciates you for you. I’m always trying to project the appearance that I have my shit together and I’m so sensitive to perceived critiques. My dude saw my giant kitchen mess in its full glory the other day and I’m still cringing about it. After going full-time on my blog last year, I was beating myself up so much that I found a therapist who reminded me that I’m working hard and successful and doing a lot of things right. Then I spent a month in Austin with another blogger and watched as she made equally huge kitchen messes but didn’t internalize them as personal failures. They were just messes and she cleaned them up. Anyway, I’m rambling, but thought I’d share that I’ve started taking a supplement called krill oil—it’s like fish oil but more bioavailable, and I swear, my house and my brain have been clearer than ever. It takes about two months before you can really feel the difference. Some studies have shown that it’s about as effective as stimulants and I believe them.

By: Morgan Borine

Morgan Borine — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 02:25:20 +0000

Dearest Kate,
Thank you for yet another beautifully raw post. I love reading these insightful entries, as they certainly demonstrate a well developed sense of self, and a high level of self-awareness. I continue to be astonished and pleasantly surprised by just how much we have in common, as the similarities are greater than I ever realized. When reading your posts, I often find myself nodding in agreement while thinking, “Yeah, that sounds like me.” I am hoping that at some point in the future, we will have an opportunity to chat and catch up. Keep up the great work! 🙂

Xoxo
Morgan

By: Kelli Case

Kelli Case — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 17:41:13 +0000

alright i love this post. sounds like you snagged a dude like mine. we got lucky.

i need to say though: i got seriously more organized and on top of shit with waaay less effort when i started sleeping during the hours my body wants to sleep. instead of sleeping 10pm-6am like the better sleep council and receptionists at dentist’s office think i should sleep (why do they even try to get people to make 7am appts) i started going to bed when my body wanted (midnight ish) and waking up when my body wanted (8:30am ish). i have always been the queen of losing, breaking, and misplacing things but everything changed when i started sleeping during the window my body wants.

“I wasn’t afraid of his reaction, I was afraid of being a burden.” I so completely relate to that!

By: Leslie

Leslie — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 15:20:16 +0000

This is such a beautifully honest insight. That idea of even hiding your flaws from the one person who probably knows them already, is right on target. At some point you just breathe, own it, and move on to a better moment.

xx, leslie
http://www.onebrassfox.com

By: Aneeka

Aneeka — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 08:00:08 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It resonates so well with where how my life is right now.

With everything that’s going on I still choose to prioritise taking time out.

All the best 🙂

I look forward to reading your posts.

Aneeka

By: Desi

Desi — Sun, 16 Aug 2015 16:02:56 +0000

I struggle with the details in a very similar way. I’ve learned some coping strategies, but it still happens. Learning to sit with all those feelings when it’s happening has made a huge difference. A loving spouse helps a lot too. 😉

By: Jean Gustavsen

Jean Gustavsen — Sun, 16 Aug 2015 14:42:05 +0000

As the others, I also thank you for sharing. I most appreciated your husband’s comment on appreciating you are human. I have been divorced from a 30 year marriage for nearly 2 years (seems like a long time)but in reality with all the unexpected emotions, lifestyle, moving etc, it isn’t. I have taken the plunge and started seeing someone (a whole new world), and “appreciating you are human”, were the perfect words for me at this time. Finding someone who appreciates the “human I am.”
Again, thank you.

By: Sharon Kingston

Sharon Kingston — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 19:47:41 +0000

Kate, you inspire a lot of us with your sense of design and execution of brand, but also with your display of humility and humanity. In this carefully crafted and curated world, we need these reminders. Thank you.

By: Moorea Seal

Moorea Seal — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 18:14:58 +0000

I feel you. I’m SO SIMILAR. I have ADD, depression and anxiety. I want to do everything perfectly and with a good attitude. I don’t want to mess up ever but I happen to have terrible terrible memory, I’m always late, I take everything even fun things and turn them into tasks that need to be ranked by priority in my mind. And then I don’t even stick to the system I try to create in my head. I’m very bad at creating and sticking to routine. But I’m great at big ideas, staring projects, planning, communicating, enthusiasm, getting other people in on good things, encouraging other people, and other random stuff.
It’s hard being a woman devoted to goals and ideals, investing in a partner, a dog, a business, wanting each area to fully thrive while also needing to invest in yourself and not hold yourself to incredibly high expectations.
I feel you and remember you are allowed to forget things, you are allowed to not meet your ideals because even meeting yourself half way is an incredible achievement. ❤️
– Moorea

By: Rachel

Rachel — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 18:06:02 +0000

This is awesome. I think so many of us are in this place. It seems if you’re awesome at one thing, the expectation is you must be perfect at all the other things, right? If you kick ass at work SURELY you must be able to keep the house clean/keep up with current events/start a side business/grow and cook your own damn organic food/etcetcetc. I spend so much time envying the people that can do these things. I’m not one of these people. It’s a triumph if I can do a load of laundry and cook a meal on a workday. Whatever. 🙂 Thanks for continuing to share your human story with us.

By: Juliet

Juliet — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 16:31:25 +0000

As always, you are my all time favorite blogger! I love your openness and honesty about life. I (probably most of us) know exactly how it feels to want to look like we have it together. I have wanted to blog for yearssss and have been afraid to put it out there because I’ve been about 40 pounds overweight. Even with encouraging emails (from you!) I have been scared to show myself to the world fat/imperfect/not having it together at all. So stupid! Well, I did get it together (somewhat) and have lost 23 pounds and I’m still afraid I’m not good enough yet. Ima just get over it and realize that people relate to real, not perfection.

By: Christa

Christa — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 13:51:12 +0000

Great article and wow, I’ve been there. I actually started taking a supplement called inositol and it helped me with my forgetfulness, the constant feeling of anxiety and even some of my “hangry” issues.

By: Tcg

Tcg — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 13:47:57 +0000

This is me all day every day for the past four months. Recently promoted. Working tons of hours. Helping hubby run a business and trying to maintain my sanity all at once. This gave so much insight!

By: Gretchen

Gretchen — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 21:13:38 +0000

Whenever people describes the early warning signs of Alzheimer’s I think to myself, I’ve been doing that since I was 3 years old! WTF is wrong with me?
Then I remember that without ADD I probably wouldn’t be as creative, as fun or funny or an “out of the box” thinker (I hate that phrase — I always want to ask whoever has called me this, “you mean there’s a box?!?” I wouldn’t be as “delightfully strange” as one of my clients called me. In fact, when I’m feeling good, I wear my ADD brain as a badge. I amuse myself.
But when I’m depressed, all of those amuse bouches become little daggers, reminding me of how flawed I am.
Fortunately, I married a creative person with ADD. He gets it.

I get it. I get you.

I live I Minneapolis and have often thought how we might help one another. So…if you ever want to get together, I’d love to have someone who knows what it’s like — and maybe you do, too.

By: PJ

PJ — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 14:19:00 +0000

Thank you for so adeptly articulating the internal mental battles that so many people face. Great post! And good luck finding the next thing you misplace!

By: B

Fri, 14 Aug 2015 10:11:32 +0000

Understanding husbands are the BEST! And just a tip, always ask for two hotel key and keep it in an inside purse pocket! I was always losing mine as well!

By: kate

kate — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 01:15:28 +0000

I have often felt this sense of failure as well, especially when I forget to a work-related task or have the same bill sitting on my kitchen table, unpaid for the last two weeks, or when I search the apartment high and low for my phone, until to realize that it is in my back pocket.
All of these minor mistakes can feel like they must be obvious signs of failure, but as always, we have to remember that we’re not perfect, humans are flawed, and we can’t lean into these feelings of despair. We have to not wallow in self-doubt and guilt but instead remind ourselves of everything that we’re capable of achieving.

By: Kim

Kim — Thu, 13 Aug 2015 21:23:21 +0000

This is definitely a post I can relate to. There are times in my life where I can’t seem to keep anything straight and it’s quite frustrating as I’m usually a very organized, thoughtful person. I love that your loved one helped you see what you were doing to yourself, we all need to be kind to ourselves when we aren’t “perfect.” Loved this! XO -Kim
http://www.thethirtysomethinglife.com

By: Kate Arends

Kate Arends — Thu, 13 Aug 2015 20:34:52 +0000

In reply to Liz. Liz! Thank you so much. I do see the ADHD as a super power at times... such a contradiction, to be able to have a unique skill set, yet struggle with basic tasks. Never a boring moment. Thank you for sharing!! <3