Cher, it can be so hard, and the stage of life you’re in is when marital satisfaction can dip to its lowest. But here’s what super cool: YOU changing your small behaviors can change the entire system! E.g., start a gratitude notebook, and leave it out on the kitchen counter. On it write down 2 tiny things each day you appreciate about HIM. Don’t expect him to do join in … right away. But he likely will, eventually. And you’ll also see, probably very swiftly, that even if he doesn’t say it he’ll feeling much softer/warmer/more connected … and that will fan a flame of re-connection. You CAN get your “us” back! Also, be sure to get into a great therapist yourself, someone who specializes in marriage/family therapy. They will help you recognize your OWN power in shifting your relationship. 🙂 Hang in there!

Kaitlen, thanks for sharing your experience. And, hopefully the ideas here will give you some HOPE (+ a few practical ideas) for you and your boyfriend to usher loneliness out the door. You’re not alone. (Also, I’ll be cheering you on from Minnesota.)

And I appreciate YOU for commenting — and for pointing out that knowing what “lonely” looks and feels like in a relationship is important for many reasons, not the least of which is knowing what one does NOT want. Thanks for reading, Julie!

Thanks Claire! The team at Wit and Delight is rockstar at selecting imagery. Thanks for reading — and do come back often! 🙂